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I need to stop reading Heroes slash. (Especially dirty, wrong, hot Claude/Peter stuff)
It's 3.09 in the morning- I'm meant to be bike riding tomorrow.
No chance!


The Girl

Another one.

I like her, and she liked me.
So I got nervous and now she's found someone else. I would do anything to win her back.
I cannot believe what a total twunt I've been, it serves me right for messing her around, but I want another chance.
I want her girlfriend to disappear. I know I could call in a few favours, get a few rumours spread and then they'd probably end up breaking up- or at least being on rocky ground.

It's tempting- but I know I'll never do it. I'm not that cruel.
I want her, but I want het to be happy even more.
So that's why I'll hang back for now and watch from afar.
If I get a second chance, I'm not gona mess it up this time.
That's a promise to myself. I'm not going to be scared of 'what if' anymore.


Oblig Resolutions Post

1) Drop a jeans size. Sucks being stuck between a 10 and a 12 (UK). I'm either doing 'so baggy you can see all of my arse' or 'so tight there's a chance I'll never have kids'. Neither at the best look on me- so I intend to lose those stubborn pounds and get back to a 10. Maybe even an 8 if I can resist the muffins.

2) Drink more water. I want my skin to clear up fully- and so far the added water is helping. If only I can keep it up.

3) Meet deadlines. Cos you need one that will be broken by the first week.


I Need the Practise

Dw i mewn cariad.

Mae hi'n alluog a mae hi'n bert.

Perffaith <3


Screw it.
Nadolig Llawen :-)



Not feeling well today, I only have one lesson (at the end of the day) and yet I still have to come into school. So here I am, in the ICT suite *cough snicker* surrounded by machines that either won't work, or are slower than me pre-coffee. I've got Ethan (the PSP) with me blasting out New York Dolls and it's fucking freezing.

I'm meant to be learning, but I found a tunnel to get around the filters and so I'm Livejournaling instead. My stomach hurts, I'm shivering so much, and every single jolt causes my head and my ribs to burn and throb.
Nice, huh?
I just got over a cold- so my guess is this is yet another one I picked up. Goddamm immune system. I think I'm just so tired. I'd best be healthy for Sunday- SCISSOR SISTERS AT NOTTINGHAM! Cannot wait :D
Hell, even if I feel like this I'm dragging myself there.
Dodo's going so it'll be an awesome night.

Jacket Pimpage

I just love it! Only £35 too, althought that was supposed to be Xams money for friendies presents...



I want her. I want to just completely dote on her, and give her everything.
I know I'll never be able to- so I'm waiting for it to pass.
Writing helps though- speeds up the process.

Can't sleep. 00.00- nice dead time.
I think I have to pee.
Fridge is buzzing again, I have UmBongo in there- damn lip ring, if I drink I should clean it :(

Feet are cold now- back is on FIRE. Goddamn gigs, I have to stop headbanging so much. I'm gonna die from headbanging- the best way to go I imgaine.

Sorry F-List, my rambles are probably clogging up your page but they're helping clear my head. I'm so bloody tired- I should try and sleep.

If I had one wish I'd get her. No, that's wrong-I'd just, I dunno, try and make her see how well I'd treat her. She deserves it. She deserves a hell of a lot more than I could give, tobe fair. Probably best I don't stand a chance.

I'm not depressed about it. I can talk to her and be around her, which is more than enough- more than with most people.

He IS PISSING ME OFF though. Get a hint man. You're annoying, insulting, condesending and just smarmy. Bugger off.

I miss how we used to be sweetie, I love her too- but can we maybe have some us time? I'm being unfair- I know.

No idea of how I'm going to cope in the future. I have NO IDEA what I want to do/be. Well,I do. Zookeeper- I would love that job. Sucks i'd have to move so far away to get a chance though. Plus I'm no clever enough, I know I'm not. But I'd have the passion and I'd work so fucking hard to get it.

Need to get another piercing. Top of ear? Yeah. I need money first though- my bank balance is going down so rapidly, damn you Lush. Damn you TKMaxx- cheap clothes are less cheap when you buy more than you need.

Ok sleep now.
Thanks for hearing me out.

Puss and Swelling!

Yep I got my lip pierced, first piercing ever- and it rocks so much! I even love the swelling and pussing- because it's a good sign and gives me something fun to moan about. It feels so weird, at times I can't believe it's actually happened becuase it's such a non-me thing to do. It's like I have this sudden burst of confidence- first Moon Manouvers and now piercing! I know it's mostly down to my friends and I love them for it, I'd never have had the guts to do it without them :D


New Hair!

 It's just drying at the moment, so hopefully I'll have it more spiky tomorrow. I love it though- it's such a change, and so much easier!




I'm back from camping- only went for three days, but it chucked it down and was absolutely bloody freezing, so in a way I'm glad to be back. Still loved it though- despite the numb toes and the me throwing up in a hedgerow at about 3am. I went for the enitre time without a shower or a change of jeans- so I bet everyone else was glad to have me out of the tent too :-) Well I'm showered and fresh now, although still slightly muzzy-headed from lack of sleep.

My brother is absolutely amazing though- he bought the Daily Mirror specially for me so I could read the Richard Hammond interviews. I was getting teary by the end of the second one, and I've put off reading the third till I'm in private just in case I succomb to tears.

In other news- I'm getting my lip pierced tomorrow! Well, in theory I am. I haven't booked in or anything but I doubt it'll be too busy and hopefully I can get it done there and then. If I can afford it, I also want the top of my ear done but that's not as important. Haircut tonight too, and it's going back short and choppy so I can show off my piercings :D